Mother’s Day Humor

I dedicate this piece of drabble/microfiction to all of the amazing moms who never lose their cool. Moms who are nothing like me. Happy Mother’s Day!   Simmering at 6:08 p.m.   “What’s for dinner?” Something delicious. Stop snacking and turn off the Xbox. “I’m hungry.” I said no more snacks. “Fine, I’ll just get…

Lost Letters to the Easter Bunny

Dear Mr. Easter Bunny, My mom said I should write another letter to you because I don’t like the way she answers my questions. Question #1—Are you real, Mr. Easter Bunny? My mom says, “What does your heart tell you?” My heart tells me that giant bunnies are terrifying, even if they’re dressed in pastel…

Is Listening to an Audiobook the Same as Reading a Book?

An Unconventional Review of The History of Love by Nicole Krauss and How I Plan to Read More Books This Year (and Why I Love My Public Library) Apart from the books that my parents and teachers read aloud to me when I was very young, all of my reading has been done in the…

Maria’s 2018 Reading Log, Part 1

Ten Quick Book Reviews I am a binge reader. I go a couple of months without reading any books (lately these reading droughts have coincided with rather intense periods of creative writing), and then I read so many books so quickly that I have trouble remembering all of them later on. I thought I’d better…

St. Patrick’s Day Flash Fiction

A Little Forbidden Love by Maria Roth   Lizzie closed her eyes and stroked her sleeping husband’s shoulder. Johnny, she thought.   Johnny came back, as if she’d never stopped dreaming. “Why won’t you run away with me?” he asked. “I’m married.”   “To a freak! What the hell were you thinkin’, Lizzie?” Johnny touched…

Excerpts from Yet Another Rejected Romance Novel: Annabelle’s Cure

Sometimes it’s fun to write satirical, awful-on-purpose fiction, especially romance, fantasy, and sci-fi. It makes me laugh. “Serious” romance novels often make me laugh, too. Fifty Shades of Grey, for example, is a laugh riot.   Here are my favorite excerpts from yet another unpublished romance novel—last one, I swear!—by my BFF/alter ego, Michelle Grebo,…

Excerpts from Another Rejected Romance Novel: He Was More Hillbilly Than Vampire

“Katie had always wanted to date a vampire.”  When I read that opening line in Michelle Grebo’s 132nd unpublished romance novel, He Was More Hillbilly Than Vampire, I knew I was in for a treat.  I don’t usually enjoy paranormal romances, but Michelle was thoughtful enough to name the main character—a shy, potentially impotent vampire—after…

Excerpts from a Rejected Romance Novel

(Unpublished Masterpieces and Other Tragedies) I have always been interested in the lives of other writers, and the lives of the stories and poems they create. Some of their creations flourish in e-book form on Amazon, or find tangible, paper homes on a Barnes & Noble bookshelf; some hide in the large-print sections of libraries.…