Mother’s Day Humor

I dedicate this piece of drabble/microfiction to all of the amazing moms who never lose their cool. Moms who are nothing like me. Happy Mother’s Day!   Simmering at 6:08 p.m.   “What’s for dinner?” Something delicious. Stop snacking and turn off the Xbox. “I’m hungry.” I said no more snacks. “Fine, I’ll just get…

Anxious Writer’s Notes

(Above: Me, the way my family is used to seeing me when I’m writing. Unpaid promotional note: I typed the majority of my novel in Google Docs on this little Samsung Chromebook, and loved it.) And Some Shameless Self-Promotion Is there anything more depressing than an abandoned blog? (Yes. Tons of things: war, starvation, disease,…

Audrey’s Rules for a Fun, Cool, Awesome Indoor Easter Egg Hunt

Easter Egg Hunt Advice from a 5-Year-Old My 5-year-old daughter, Audrey, was thrilled when I brought out all our Easter decorations this morning.  Now my living room floor is covered in shredded green and purple “grass,” mismatched plastic egg halves, Easter books, empty Easter baskets, and chick and bunny stuffed animals.  We’ve already had five…

Am I Too Old to Go Sledding?

Or Do I Just Suck at Sledding? Or Does Sledding Just Suck? I should have asked myself if I was too old to go sledding before I went sledding last weekend. My poor, aching neck and rear end are constant reminders of my sledding “fails.” Maybe what my husband says is true: My age isn’t…

Where Did Mommy Hide My Christmas Presents?

A Guide for Curious Children Hi, kids! I’m very sorry to hear that you haven’t been able to find your hidden Christmas presents. Moms and dads are so annoying. Don’t you hate how they leave you with a boring babysitter and go shopping for hours and hours, and then hide your new stuff while you’re…

The Unexpected Perks of Parenthood

Breakfast in Bed, Halloween in July, and More My kids are generous to a fault. They never stop giving me unforgettable gifts. Never! For my birthday, my kids made me the cutest, sweetest birthday cards, and they sang “Happy Birthday” to me before I was even out of bed. How nice! Little did I know that…

Detective Mom and the Case of the Missing Shoe

1:27 P.M.  Mom notices that one of her daughter’s pink-and-white tennis shoes is still missing.  She knows exactly where she found the other shoe yesterday, so she rechecks the area behind the laundry basket in the master bedroom.  Mom gets down on her hands and knees to peer under the dresser, instantly transforming into Detective Mom.…

M.O.O.C.H. Holds Annual Pre-Halloween Meeting, Discusses “Is It Immoral to Steal Halloween Candy from Our Children?”

Mothers of Obnoxious Candy Hoarders (M.O.O.C.H.) met last Monday in Shawnee, Kansas, to prepare for Halloween. Rachel Sanders, 34, and her best friend, Amy Jarvis, 32, founded M.O.O.C.H. in 2015 to save their children from the harmful physical and psychological side effects of eating too much candy. “All that sugar shouldn’t be inflicted on our…